A Giant Can of Bat Shit Crazy-The 2016 Republican Presidential Circus

This is The Monday Line
by Denis G. Campbell

They’re baaa-aack… Those who follow this magazine know I wrote five e-books profiling the GOP circus in the 2012 Presidential campaign. This past weekend saw me put the above title to bed, the first of 2016 and two full months before I thought it would ever be necessary. It’s your official handbook to the crazy as everyone rushes to get in the race before the dark money is all sewn up by establishment candidates. I’ve profiled everyone considering a run, their record, stand on the issues and to which of the five key rabid core constituencies in the Republican Party they most appeal.

Oh yes, even though I mention issues, you will no issues on the trail as the primaries a year from now will be all about tearing the other ‘guy’ (the GOP still has a gender problem as we could only find 3 potential women candidates) down.

Introduction

If you thought the gaffe-filled 2012 Republican campaign was fun? They were off and running just four days after President Obama began year seven of his Presidency. Twenty one months before the 2016 Presidential Election, a bushel basket of Presidential wannabees are engaging in a sprint to line up staff and big money support from the Koch brothers and others in the secretive Dark Money campaign business.

At least 20 Republicans are in the mix rumoured to be vying to win the nomination for the right to then be slaughtered by Democrat Hillary Clinton.

This book gives a scorecard look at contenders and pretenders in the Tea Party/Libertarian/Christian Conservative/Establishment Republican party. We’ll look at the major candidates on both sides, issues they will not discuss and January, 2015 Vegas and London bookmaking odds for their success.

The weekend of 24-25 January saw the completion of this book with seminal events in Iowa and California. Anti-immigration stalwart Representative Steve King (R-IA) is known for making ridiculous statements from the House floor. His Tweet before the State of the Union Address about ‘Mrs. Obama sitting next to a deportable…’ was widely ridiculed.

But his state is home to the first in the nation campaign test in January 2016, the Iowa Caucus straw poll. So Republican heavyweights Chris Christie (an unlikely to appeal to Iowa caucus voters centrist conservative), firebrand Texas Tea Partier Ted Cruz, Scott Walker and Mike Huckabee flocked to kiss Steve’s ring. They were joined by the usual suspects: Sarah Palin, Rick Santorum, Donald Trump, Rick Perry, Ben Carson, Joni Ernst and others.

The big money auditions though were in the desert where the Brothers Charles and David Koch and their global $500 million dollar+ network of dark money held their annual ‘leadership’ conference in Palm Springs, California. Several more candidates tested the waters and kissed something a lot hairier and more disgusting than Steve King’s ring.

Mitt Romney and Jeb Bush also met that weekend in Utah and did not talk politics, ‘just a meet and greet,’ despite the Junior Bush’s disrespect in aggressively going after previous Romney donors.

And not to let the Evangelicals feel left out, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal (the source of British Prime Minister David Cameron nearly losing his porridge as he said, “there are several Muslim no-Go zones and cities in the UK”), is attending a prayer rally called, ‘The Response’ in Baton Rouge. This is the same prayer rally that launched the failed 2012 Presidential candidacy of former Texas Governor Rick Perry. It is run by televangelist ‘prophet’ Cindy Jacobs (who claims to have a direct line to God and is able to raise people from the dead) and the virulently antigay and anti-Obama Bryan Fisher of the American Family Association.

In the words of Al Pacino from the film Scent of a Woman… as far as this 2016 electoral scrum is concerned? “I’m just getting’ warmed up! Hooo-yah…”

The bosses of the Republican National Committee (RNC) shudders at the thought of the damage control they will need to engage in over the next 18 months to protect their party. With 20 candidates out there unscripted and out-of control, this giant can of batshit crazy is about to open once again.

The RNC desperately want to limit 2016 party debates as they have proven to be rife with suicidal open mic gaffes. They are trying to carefully control (read save) the party from itself. They are even holding their party nominating convention in the middle of July (when no one is paying ANY attention) to shut down (or is it recover from?) the bat shit crazy wings of their party.

But with a packed field of candidates ready to launch, how many of them will get their fifteen minutes of fame like Sarah Palin, Todd Akins, Michele Bachmann and Newt Gingrich did in 2012? It will all make for a very interesting year long ride to the Iowa Caucuses, the official START of the 2016 campaign.

And you can just sit back with this book on your Kindle or reader and when anyone mentions the 2016 election and asks who is this guy _____? You can search through this book and find the information to win any pub quiz or bet on that week’s front runner.

Long live the perpetual campaign!

Denis G Campbell View more

Denis G Campbell
Denis G. Campbell is founder and editor of UK Progressive magazine and co-host of The Three Muckrakers podcast. He is the author of 7 books and provides Americas, EU and Middle Eastern commentary to the BBC, itv, Al Jazeera English, CNN, CRI, MSNBC and others. He is CEO of Monknash Media and a principal with B2E Consulting in London. You can follow him on Twitter @UKProgressive and on Facebook.

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