Quarter-pounder without sleaze – what can you watch on McDonald’s newly porn-free Wi-Fi?

It’s an all-too-familiar scenario: you order your Big Mac meal, log on to the restaurant’s complementary Wi-Fi and settle down to watch some hardcore to help the food digest. Okaaaaay, maybe that’s not familiar to you at all. But it seems to be for some people: following pressure from anti-porn groups, McDonald’s has moved to block sexual content from most of its US (and all of its UK) restaurants. Starbucks is set to follow suit – terrible news for anyone who enjoys watching a bit of smut with their salted caramel mocha.

 

But if porn is off the menu at McDonald’s, then just what is available? Have they become totalitarian overlords dictating our entire browsing history? Or do they just not want customers to pleasure themselves in public while they eat a McChicken sandwich?

 

Armed with nothing but an iPhone and a McCafé coffee, I set out to see just how much freedom I’m allowed. I kick things off with some quick Googling: “Is McDonald’s an unethical global slaughterhouse?” Ping! Up come the results. I log on to YouTube and stream Supersize Me, Morgan Spurlock’s documentary where he made himself sick eating nothing but food from McDonald’s for a month. On the down side, it shows a man staggering around ashen-faced while doctors inform him he’s severely damaging his health, which tends to put you off your cheeseburger. But on the plus side, the Wi-Fi here is superb. I can download songs, films and even the entire Chilcot report, the first 157 pages of which appear in my browser almost instantaneously. I attempt to visit some virulently anti-McDonald’s websites – McSpotlight, McCruelty and the Facebook group I Am Vomitin It – and they all come up no problem.

 

Where to go from here? I find a site that tells me how to dispose of a dead body (use sulphuric acid, then pour it down a storm drain, apparently). I glance up at the staff and start to get a bit paranoid in case anyone is checking my history. I scale things down and watch some Sky Sports News for a bit. Then I FaceTime my wife.

 

Both the burger chain and Starbucks have blocked access to sexual content on their complementary broadband. But pretty everything else seems to be fair game

 

 

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